Last day of 2005

Woah!! We're finally here... LAST day of 2005!!

Time now is: 7pm
Another 5hrs to the new year.

Though it's just another day, I guess the significance of the change of year gives the mind a good enough reason to make some changes to one's life. Like a reason for a new start.

Personally, in one sentence, 2005 haven really been a great year. But it is this year which got me thinking about deeper stuff. Like where am i heading for in life. What i want to achieve..Yah, stuff along those lines.

oh shucks.

Im going out for dinner soon.

Gonna end this post pretty abruptly. But before that, wanna wish all a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Next time i blog, it's gonna be 2006!! To those partying, have fun! To those at home, have fun! To those who are forced to stay at home cos they're sick (like me), try to have fun!!!! =)

HAPPY 2006!!!!!!!!!

Xmas post

How shld I start this entry? hmmm

Past few days have been great fun!! Still in the christmasy-holiday mode.. And with 2006 just peaking at the corner!! Oooo..i Cant WaIt!!! -wriggles-

The way im feeling now is totally the opposite of how i felt 2 years back--when i lost my hp and the whole issue following that. Spoilt my mood for any celebrations.
And then there was 2004 going into 2005. Didnt feel anything special tt year too. Was of cos in a better mood compared to the previous. But i liked the way i spent tt NYE.
Wasnt any big hoohaa..just a nice little meal with 2 good friends. Basically crap-talked our way into 2005.

This year, once again have no plans yet. Wondering to stay home or go out... hmm, nvm. There's 2 more days to think something up. => probably just wanna hang out with some close friends or family or something...we'll see...

k, so now let's go back to the past week.



Me and bro went to a Turkish place. The cup u see above contains Turkish Coffee. It's supposedly veryyyyyyy bitter coffee,thus explaining the cup of water next to it.

Me mean bro wanted to see me suffer drinking tt. Unfortunately for him, i can tahan bitter coffee. Does tt mean i have to chi ku ( go through hardship) alot in life??? So anyway i ended up enjoying the coffee! heheh...
_______________________________________________

Next big day after tt was the little christmas gathering with the gang. Was fun fun fun!! Despite the small numbers, I had a super duper great time! The movie marathon part was fun too..even though all (eXCEPT ash!!) fell asleep at some point or another. + words of denial from jo (everything ans aso 'No' =S ) I actually enjoyed myself! Hope u guys did too!! Love the popcorn, chips and sparkling juice!!

Well, the feast continued the next day (Christmas Day itself) at my sister-in-law's place. Gosh, the food was *mama mia* !!! Lips-smacking delicious i tell u!! Cakes(log cake, chocolate cake, normal cake..all sorts man!), cookies, brownies, tarts, apple pie, icecream, tt fruit cocktail thingy and soooooooooooo much more!! Mind you, tts LUNCH only!! Actually tts the desert part for lunch la..Main course was steamboat.
** pssst psstt : helping out in the kitchen has its advantages! **


Was feasting and helping out for 'lunch' till abt 4pm. Then i became toooo tired from lack of sleep. So went upstairs to take a nap! heheh...Drifted in and out of sleep for abt 2hrs. Somehow ended up more tired and lethagic! But washed up and went down to help out with dinner stuff.

Dinner saw friends of the family. More crowd and even GREATER FOOD!!!! woooohooooo!!! Was still bloated then, so only took certain stuff to eat. The Good Stuff. Wasted la..was tooo damn full to eat any turkey or pie.. (Still regretting now!)

Anyway i left with parents ard 8+pm while sis n bro stayed there for the night. Was tooo tired (and bloated) to be a good guest so decided to go hm and sleep properly instead.

Had a tremendous time (though wishing now tt i didnt eat tt much) with both my gang and family this christmas. Have to say this is the BEST xmas yet!! Of cos not forgetting the presents received! Love love love all of them!! And of cos in return, i did spend quite a bit on presents this year too. But nvm, all spent was worth the while.



Some of the gifts for family and the blue one infront for crappygang's gift exchange.



I love my wrapping for this gift hamper the best! Decided to put together my own hamper this year. Nice right??

Anyway next thing to look foward is TMR!! Meeting the gang for a pre-new year's eve gathering. More ppl gonna come for this one i hope. Cant wait. Just love hanging out with those girls! Always full of nonsense!!

Cant wait cant wait!! -wriggles-

I WANNA GO FOR A HOLIDAY!

I WANNA GO FOR A HOLIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

That about sums up how i feel now.

I really wanna get out of singapore for a few days. To somewhere cooler or even somewhere warmer aso i dun mind! I just wanna get into the holiday mood! U know, the relaxing in hotel or sight-seeing or just hanging by the pool mood.

But family cant go anywhere now because sister is in the midst of her semester (sch not pregnancy) and parents would never leave anyone behind like tt.

Wahh..regarding the topic of having sch term in dec, and even though im not affected by it, i sure have alot of comments on it man!! But tt will be for another post entry. No anger (not enough) to touch tt topic now.

But coming back to my desperation to get away, any takers?? Some low budget,few days of relaxation and fun.

Hey gang, still up to going Genting--the supposed trip tt never happened. Or Phuket/Langkawi/Tioman Island? Anywhere?? Anyone?!??!

Shit-in-the-head

I simply just hate the people who have normal functioning brains but yet act as if they're total IDIOTS!! Then again, they're worse off than being an Idiot!

Really you know..Just pisses me off!!

Don't know whom im talking about??

Ooohhh, you too meet 'their kind' often enough.

In a veryyy crowded bus, this weird species of human-beings-lookalike-except-without-the-thinking-capacity-of-one would be standing near the exit or just refusing to move in.

Met them b4? ...Bet you did!

You know what, you know what..I suppose if one were to think in THEIR-idiotic-train-of-thought, maybe...just maybe.........


They're afraid of the boogie monster at the back of the bus!!!!! (MUST BE ah!! -nods head-)


k, so other than in the buses, i just recently 'discovered' their prescence in MRT trains too!!! (they're trying to take over the public transport system i tell you!! and i just HAD to fail my TP thus having to suffer such ill fate.)


So wanna know how to sport these mutated species??

Their kind would be the ones walking into the train soooooooooooooo slowly, glaaaannncccciiinnnnggg lefffftt aannnnndddd rriiiiiggghhhtttt (think matrix..the slow-mo part) as if at a zebra-crossing.

Hell, i know you'll looking for a bloody seat (errr..here, of cos i mean for a seat..and not a bloody one.. ooo,u get wat i mean~) but the rest of the population BEHIND you would actually like to get IN the train (with seat or no seat),if you don't mind. Thank you.

Weird thing is that once they spot a vacant seat, they are suddenly able to move with the speed of that roadrunner bird (beep beep :::.........)

Oh and of cos as usual without surprise, their kind(those who didnt manage to walk fast enough to the seats) would most likely crowd at the doors.
(Once again, if one is to think like THEM...perhaps they're afraid that those handgrips thingy might morph into snakes while they're holding it and end up strangling them to death

Quite an interesting, yet positively irritating, bunch of errrr....what's a good word to use here...hmmm....yes, an interesting bunch of Assholes, arent they ?!?!

:)

Failures at failures

Thinking back, i gotta agree with what my bro once said.

He said that we (was referring to my sis, himself and me) were lucky. Lucky in the sense that we managed to complete our years of primary and secondary education smoothly. That unlike some people who had to be retained, we went on one year after next. Always going up....
[we were talking abt a whole other issue then but i still see the link to other stuff]

And so from such experience, we never had to face failures. Of course at this point im not talking abt the minor failures such as failing a small class test sort of thing. It's more like the, if-u-fail-this-exam-u-will-do-sec1-another-year kinda of failure. The big kind of failure. The kind of failure that feels like a hard punch in the stomach.

Then again, i was lucky that i didnt have to face the small-class-test kind of failure until sec 3. Even tt kind of mini-setback took some getting used to. After failing soooo often in A.Maths during sec3, practically the whole of tt yr (!!) , failing didnt really matter/hurt that bad after the 5th time.

[ i remembered after failing the first 2 times consecutively,i broke down one day during assembly after sch when i was doing my councillor duty(only my duty partner was present at tt moment while the whole sch was in the hall). I wasnt able to handle the failures. Worse thing is that handsome PE teacher had to witness that!!! Suddenly walked past.... =S sooooo embrassing! But at tt time it felt good to hear his words of comfort. => ]

Oppss...digression..Ok coming back, what i meant to say is that failures no matter how small is bound to hurt. How much pain it causes is up to the individual it concerns.

But in this highly protected education system of ours, one won't face much failures when young. A normal student should see through pri. and secondary education in roughly 10-11 years.

Bigger forms of failures starts coming in after that. Or even after tertiary education.

So how does one learn to cope with the punches after 10 years +++ of smooth flowing life? 10+++ years of being protected by the education system. After years of hearing that if one works hard at something,putting all heart and soul into it, one would NOT fail. Only to realise that it's not really true once u step out of education.

It's no wonder ppl say 'the world out there is cruel'. Because in the 'real' world, 'working hard' does NOT necessarily equals 'success'. And so after being soooo well taken care of for like 20 years plus(including tertiary edu.), failing at something totally out of your control feels soooo damn unfair. And unfortunately, life IS unfair. So there's nothing you can complain about.

I guess what im trying to say is that after 20years of not having to face many failures (except in terms of tests...exams not included), my most recent failure felt worse than a punch in the stomach. Felt like a hole in the heart too. The empty empty feeling both in the stomach and bottom of the heart kind.

My most recent failure got me thinking that maybe the reason why im so 'weak' inside and lousy at handling failures is because ive been too protected before this. As explained in all the crap above.

So unlike from the experiences of other failures, where i would spend days buried in my tears, drowning in self-pity and then hiding 'what went wrong' under the-big-rug-for-failures, im gonna stand proud and tall after this fall.

Im gonna learn to take this kind of punches. Strengthen both my heart and stomach from such things. Slowly, maybe i'll see failures as just a stepping stone for me to get higher. For me to improve myself and get better.




But for now, i think im gonna allow myself another day (hmmm..make that 2 days) of feeling lousy for failing my Driving TP exam yesterday. Bleh~





[would like to thank those who sent msgs b4 and/or after my TP. All of what i received was very sweet and encouraging. Thanks pals!
I guess no matter how much i complain now about how bias the examiner was or how wrongly i was assessed for some parts are pointless. Angry also no use. Anyway think he was cursed by many others before me already.
Thanks again for the words of comfort! Greatly appreciated. ]

Occlumency

Imagine you're in a train. Your mind starts to get filled with all sorts of stuff as the train moves off.

Of whether did you switched off the fan?
Whether you locked the gate/door?
Whether you closed the room window?
Whether you got any vege in your teeth?
Thinking tt that guy at the end of the row looks quite good.
Thinking of how to pull up yr bra strip which has just slipped off a little....
.........

Then you see someone sitting opposite staring at you. Staring.... Just looking and staring as if u're Harry Potter and have a lightening scar on your forehead.
And you cant help but wonder..........




Can he read what im thinking?!?!?

Rain rain come again.....

How come it's not raining as much as last year this time round?


I miss the cold, winter-like weather (as cold as a tropical country can get la).

I miss looking out at the dark blue skies. Or the grey water vapour laden clouds.

I miss snuggling up all warm and comfy in bed.

I just miss the cold weather man!!!!



As what they say, " Global warming makes the weather.......Interesting. "

I miss you buddy!!

Friendships tend to mean alot to me.
Esp so for friendship with closer friends. (aka buddies).

And as usual when something unpleasant happens between me and any one of my buddy, it sometimes just makes me feel sooo lousy for a period of time.

I mean how can u know someone for like sooo long, and then just because of the appearance of a guy, everything changes.

You know, I really am impressed by girls who can juggle time spent with their bf without affecting anything with their girlfriends.

It's not as easy as it sounds. Maybe tts why it's not really uncommon to sort of 'lose closeness' to one's group of friends who might contain various singles.

Haizz...

As general as i wanna keep this post (for personal reasons) , i still cant believe some of the changes i see in her. It really seem as if i dont know her anymore. And we used to be sooooo close! What happened?!?!

Im not jealous. No. Im not...At first I thought i was. Maybe also a little not used to her having a bf. But slowly i saw changes in the way she acts and talks. And honestly, i dun think i really like some of those changes. But someone once told me tt people and the world around us are constantly changing. And part of the Test of Life is to see how we handle those changes.

So maybe i will have to learn to re-embrace this new old buddy of mine.
So what if she becomes sooo relient on her bf to send her everywhere?
So what if she suddenly becomes a regular taxi-taker because of tt?
So what if she doesnt call me as often as as she used to?
So what if we don't laugh as much as we used to before?
So what if im really really starting to miss her......



#post-note : crappygang, this post does not refer to ANY of you!! So dun come asking me who is it. It's none of u guys. :) You guys are my rays of sunshine in this rain.