I Miss US

To say “Thank you” seems as difficult as “sorry” to you.

Today I’m especially disappointed by your actions.

I ask myself, was it just today? But no, I think it’s just been accumulating over a period of time.

I just took almost an hour to go buy bread at 9+PM.. but did u even realise or ask me why I was gone for so long?

I know that u do a lot for us.. and I’m grateful for it. And I say THANK YOU to you all the time! I make it known to you of how thankful I am for your contribution time and again.

But how often do I get thanks from you?

Should a couple still need to go through the trouble to thank each other for all the small & big things?

I think it doesn’t hurt to sometimes let the other party know that ure thankful for a certain action.

Do you know when I see u go sweep/mop the floor, my heart is full and I believe there were many times that I’ve thanked you for it

But when I do stuff around the house— nothing.

I’m meant to do it, is it?

I guess your mum set that standard already right? Quietly doing stuff, just clearing all the mess in the house without even getting a ‘thanks’ from anyone...

Well, I’m not like that.

I’ve said this many times..... if u don’t add positive into my “emotion pot”, don’t keep withdrawing.

To say that I’m “slow/ fat/ lazy” comes out waaaaay more than anything else positive.

Do u praise me? Yes u do. I can’t lie and say never. But my point is that negative things come out waaaaay more often that positive.

Even to the kids, how often do u praise me infront of them?

Not an argument. Just me being overwhelmed with pent up emotions.....

So bad that I actually took the time to pen this all down.

Because the voices inside my head is getting too loud again.

A good and successful marriage takes effort and work.

Now, this just feels like having a friend with benefit. Hah, friend. Who am I kidding....

I can’t even remember when was the last time we chatted like friends....

Sometimes I wish you won’t read what I write anymore......... because I don’t have access to what you’re thinking at all....

I miss my friend. My buddy. My work partner. My husband.