Stronger than yesterday

i used to think that ive become stronger..mentally i mean..now i realised that im still quite weak.. yah,in some expects i did grow stronger. i dun break down as easily as i used to when i was still in primary n secondary sch..i believe wat i went through den sort of made me stronger.. but i still feel there's a lot of work to be done in controlling my attitude when the goings get tough..somehow, my family still cant understand that when im stressed, i prefer to be alone and will tend to be veryyyyy quiet.. this time of the semester is the worst sooo far in the whole of poly.. mayb this is how i feel at the moment. somemore with the additional pressure from the shifting house thingy + projects(way too many in my opinion)= super packed weeks!! sometimes i wonder y m i even going through such shit...i know if i dun tink too much and jus piang all the way..mayb i'll jus survive through this semester without going mental..i know i will somehow get pass this stage la..n how i go through this will jus show how strong i m..but i jus wanna say sorrie if somehow, along this stressful period, i offend any of u guys..sorrie..i dun mean it.. im jus tooo packed to the brim.. sorrie.

Dear diary
Today I saw a boy
And I wondered if he noticed me
He took my breath away

Dear diary
I can't get him off my mind
And it scares me
'Cause I've never felt this way

No one in this world
Knows me better than you do
So diary I'll confide in you

Dear diary
Today I saw a boy
As he walked by I thought he smiled at me

And I wondered
Does he know what's in my heart
I tried to smile, but I could hardly breathe

Should I tell him how I feel
Or would that scare him away
Diary, tell me what to do
Please tell me what to say

Dear diary
One touch of his hand
Now I can't wait to see that boy again

He smiled
And I thought my heart could fly
Diary, do you think that we'll be more than friends?
I've got a feeling we'll be so much more than friends

translated lyrics

"i just don't know what to say
to let u know how i feel
even though it's jus those few simple words
but i cant seem to do it
this heart is empty n all that i can do now
is watch u.."

hehe..a lame attempt of translating part of the lyrics..of cos the version he sang sounds much better n has a deeper meaning then wat i wrote..hehhe..but i tried~hhaha...

-_-

ehh,the music sounds weird..sounds like pirated one hor~haha..i feel shitty!!almost went into depression mood i tink!was feeling really horrible yesterdae. felt tired. tired of things happening around me..caused by family, friends, sch work..arghh!!!felt like i had no control over the things happening ard me..for a moment yesterdae,i felt as if i didnt have the strength to move on anymore...was a sucky feeling!!but thank GOD i have great supportive friends ard me..somehow, i tink im much better den yesterdae..but still trying to get out of tt 'lost' feeling..hope this is jus a phrase im going through..i know it is..jus a matter of time b4 it'll be over.. : )
*1 year...it's been 1 year!!wow,cant imagine time passed soooo fast!!i still wonder how is it tt after 1 year, u have not failed to make me weak at the sight of u..yr smile still looks as good as it did a year ago..i have tried to let go, but i guess i jus didnt try hard enough..i myself dun know y im sooo into u after all the hurt tt u have caused me.i dun know..this song sorts of say how im feeling now...*

cOoL!!

finally got a taste of how it feels to perform with good musicians!!hehheh...it was fun!!But somehow felt as if the whole thing lasted less den 3minutes!!ahahha...realli did enjoy myself wen was on stage..was taking in the whole atmosphere n stuff..cool~if onli..if onli..if onli i can make performing my living!!hehe...haizz..but tt is jus a dream..but dreams do come true rite??the after performance part was fun too!!hhaha..the rest of the performance by song-composing club wasnt tt great la,but the lyrics they wrote were good!but anyway,we left half-way..went to eat with justin,kenneth n gerald..den after tt me n justin went Swing n tt part was G-R-E-A-T!!ermm,actually it was a little less den great la..was hoping to see the whole full band..but they only had the guitarist n singer. But nonetheless,those 2 were superperb musicians..esp the singer..hmm,gotta go get ready to go Jo's place now..arghh,projects still not lesser-ning yet..
[haiz..4 more days to a year!!y wasnt i given the chance to be with u??]

"Never seem more learned than the people you are with. Wear your learning like a pocket watch and keep it hidden. Do not pull it out to count the hours, but give the time when you are asked."

Mixed feelings

hmm..now listening to a song called Bamberg Fantasy..it's pretty cool~!!sort of gives me the *kick* to play better in band!!seeing how well he performs in everything he likes aso makes me wanna prove myself..makes me wanna be GOOD in the stuff i do..n no longer be jus tt average-in-everything gal..no longer a jack of all trades,master of none..anyway,yesterday's jamming session was great fun!!much tighter den the last session..soo tt's a good sign i guess.im realli going to miss this after the perf. this sat..yes,tiring is tiring..but i dun know..music sort of brings me alive..ermm..depends wat kind of music la..but i know i have something in me..jus have to find that!arghhh..but with sch work n all..i jus dun have much time to dedicate it to music..realli envy those who have found their talent..(like him..hehhe)..kk..better stop here..gotta get ready.. huiyi coming soon to do project..hope today can finish up tt project n the AMB one with ash..arghhhh!!!!

"Toil to make yourself remarkable by some talent or other."
Seneca (5 BC - 65 AD)

sianzz

hmm...on a beautiful sunday, im stuck in front of my computer doing PROJECTS!!!how good can tt get..projects are like piling up..as if their aim is to reach the sky!!!and as usual all of them are due at ard the same time..y mus it always be this way?!!?hmm..anyway pretty excited abt the performance this coming saturday..hope i'll be able to do GREAT!!!dun wish to perform below the expectations of ashraf.. *crosses fingers* anyway realli greatful to have this chance..it's like a continuation of Say WhuT...mus work on my rhythms..k man..gotta go n do tt crappy AMB project..Bird Flu agAiNz!?!? tt topic like repeating for all the modules.. -_-

"Music has charms to soothe a savage breast
To soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak."

updatezz

common tests are over..but no good news to report abt tt..didnt do tt well this time..or rather did VERYYY badly!!!arghh..kinda pissed at myself..could have actually done much better..but i jus had to be sick during the papers!haiz..no use finding an excuse now. soo anyway,tracking back a little..we went to Sentosa on fri!it was GREAT fun!!!realli realli enjoyed myself alot..can be counted as the top3 best days of the year..so far la..hahha..hmm..wat else haven i said...
ohh..yeah..we aso went to watch Butterfly Effect on thursday. wow,tt show is goOd..something like Identity.was kinda confusing at 1st..but the story started to unfold towards the end..made me think alot after the show..it's like how do we know what we living now is the 'real' life??(for those who watched the show i tink u might understand wat im talking) actually have a whole lot of thoughts regarding life n fate..been questioning tt alot recently..but dun have much time to write abt tt now..cos...
we're going to Fish n Co. to celebrate Monica's bdae..haha..ohh no..we're meeting at 12...i need to leave soon..haha..make this quick..hmm,yet to buy sis's bdae present aso..sis n mon's bdae on the same day!!haha..soooo qiao..k,tink i better run now..update again soon..n yes,i'll change the blog song n layout soon..heheh.. : )