sick sick sick 🤒

Ever since the start of this year, falling sick every other day in the week is becoming a norm!

And somehow the impact of it is far worse than what it was in the past...

Even the sinus attacks are like crippling kind of level.. last time would be much better after a nap; now even with nap + meds still sick

And this runny nose incidents now come packaged with sore throat/ body aches/ giddiness/ cough... ohh all sometimes ALL together! Why not.... haizzz

I credit the lack of sleep for the reason why my immunity is like shit. Or rather the lack of quality sleep.

At night, I get waken by don (or the stupid dog these days) every 2-3hrs.. the milk times are alright..

it’s the addition of the almost nightly fashion show of changing his pee-drenched pjs plus sometimes even having to take the hair dryer out to dry the bed that is killing me.

Ohh then plus the 7am waking up time... hate it esp that he now wakes up ard 5+ or 6+am (arghhh!!) to drink the 3rd bottle of milk.. so after changing his pampers, I’m left with barely 45mins- 1hr before I got to wake up for good... 😓😭

Really really can’t take it sometimes.... good thing some days I get to nap in the afternoons...

But by the time after appt, sometimes don’t even get to lie awhile then need to get up to prep his dinner + milk stuff before going to fetch him....

Haixx just ranting.. nothing much can be done cos hubs is already helping soooooo much!

Even as I type this, sick and feeling like dying, the hubs is in the kitchen cooking our dinner....

Just got to somehow get more charged up.. and boost up my immunity too!! Really sucks being sick sooooo often! For the boy too... was fine when he went to sch, came back with a leaking nose..

Over this weekend, he’s now better. But I can’t bet that over the next few days, it’s gonna be a leaking nose again!!! 

hate hate hate this feeling!!

The feeling of wanting to shout and scream damn bloody loud but even the sound of your own voice irritates u to the max!!!!

Arghhhh fucked up!!!! Feeling as fucked up as fuck can be!!!!!

Think I missed Berlin le!

Midnight Frustrations

At 3.22am on the day that u’ll be returning from bkk.....

Filled with frustration and a little of anger... just basically negative feelings towards you right now! 😠😤

I’ve always known that u treat friends better than me as a wife or your kid... this has always been a known fact and nothing to be argued about regardless of what u have to say about it.

Cos even dest warned me about it all those yearssss back!

Knowing you, end up after reading this, you’ll probably be pissed at ME instead!

Why am I pissed?

Ever since u met up with the rest, I’ve heard from u lesser and lesser. I know, with more ppl, more activities... plus there’s the main sharing and all..

But if u can take a smoke or shit, u can also take tt time to msg and ask about how’s your kid or wife...

Both of whom are not feeling well,thank you... kid even has acute bronchitis yet ytd, I didn’t even get a msg from u that ure back to the hotel alrdy... even that basic last msg of the night also don’t have..

Even when u video called on the 2nd night, u practically didn’t have much to say to me! Have we gotten to that stage already? Nothing to say face to face or over the phone?????

Or just lazy and taking things for granted?

Do you know about the stress I went thrgh the last few days watching Don alone?

Did u ask me about it? Like b, how are u managing? Even at reservist at least u asked...

But this trip???

Yes sorry, I’m not the type of wife that can say, ‘Go, go enjoy your trip... don’t have to keep calling home. We’re alright..’

All I wanted was you to still show concern about us thgh you’re away.. I definitely know you still do think about us cos ure buying plenty of stuff for Don n myself...

But it’s not that type that makes me feel loved. Yes, got plus points la.. but the heart still feel abit fed up..........

I just can’t find the exact word to describe how I feel now.....

Maybe I’m overreacting... maybe it’s cos I’m just Super tired... maybe it’s feeling worse because Don is unwell... maybe it’s everything added together....

Haixx, I just can’t wait for you to get home and for things to get back to normal..

The accumulation of all the rushing and (almost) solo parenting for the past 20 days is taking a toll on me....

It’s like when u give give give and get nothing back, u just end up being so drained......

Good night bb.... I miss the old us with our never-ending conversations!

Day 19/20

Day 19/20

I’m soooooo glad that Hell Weeks are almost over! 

Hubs is in bkk right now... so I’m just left with a full fri and sat of single parenting...

At 2.45am, all I can say is that it’s super exhausting! Maybe because it’s been pretty hectic of late.. 

With the work stuff then still have to rush home to prepare don’s dinner before getting him from sch.. and if I have the luxury of not having an appt, it’ll be filled with some cny prep stuff or sure got something else to catch my attention..

Then like the other day, I had a good few hours to nap.. but end up calls, msgs kept coming in, till i just gave up and went to wash the toilet... 

It’s satisfying clean and shining now btw! Haha.. and my arm hurts!

Ok, once again I have no point for this msg because I’m sooo sleepy now.. meant to go straight back to sleep after giving the boy milk but itchy hands picked up the hp... 

Nitey nite!!!

Prayer for number 2

Just met with a client who is a mummy of 2 and currently 33wks pregnant with the 3rd...

What strikes me the most is that she was just cleared of stage 2 cancer late 2017....

Her fighting power is just so strong! 

Recently we’ve been trying for number 2... n while I hope we get successful asap, the fear or more like anticipation of the multiple levels of discomfort is quite a put off..

Of course there is always that fear of other health complications that may happen!

I believe the scary birth story of Don is still haunting the hubs and even up to today, there are times I give extra extra thanks to the Almighty for being able to be here with Don and hubs.. to be still able to see.. to still live the life I had pre-pregnancy!

So many things could have gone wrong...

But just Alhamdulilah..... 

I think I’m mentally prepared for number 2.. please God, let my body be ready to carry the new life and also may the pregnancy be super smooth....