Unexplained bad temperedness

I seriously need to watch my temper these days..

Even I’m shocked by my attitude at times! It’s so unlike my usual self.. I really hope this snapping doesn’t become my new usual!

Haizz... I really feel bad towards the hubs n my mum cos they’re the ones who get the worse of it.. :/

I get frustrated so easily and over the simplest of things. I don’t think I’m overly tired or stressed out leh...

Only explanation I can come up with is: HORMONES 🤣

Always blame that right! Hahah.. but really can’t think of any other reason.

Another would be to say that baby has a fiesty temperament thus me acting this way too.. haha but that would be too mean to baby....

Really praying she doesn’t become this super bad tempered girl! I have no tolerance for bad temperedness... hope we won’t clash in that way!

Wanna be her best friend through life! Not only to be her mother but also someone she can share her life’s matters with....

Think I need to wear my Smokey quatz all the time le! Hahah...

Messed Up Pregnancy Hormones

I guess prenatal depression is more real than i thought...

Because at this moment, I’m sooooo upset and annoyed by you that I’m crying myself to sleep and having all sorts of silly thoughts...

I’m just so fed up with your rubbish temper and lack of control over your emotions.....

Don’t understand what is wrong with you these days... you lose your temper so easily! And who gets it? Your poor son and me......

Every relationship has a weakness.... I tell u, the one with ours will be our temper.

I hold back cos I hate conflict more than being right. I hate it when we quarrel. That’s y I let u be..

Be these few days....... Wah, small small big big also I tio! Fucking hell, I thght I was the one with the pregnancy hormones?!?!

Seriously some days, like today..... I’ve hit breaking point..... 

I’m beyond upset now.... at 1am, crying like I am... crying not out of anger... mainly hurt and sadness....

haizzzz I’m sooo gonna end up with swollen eyes tmr..... fuck la...... arghhhh

Baby Update 4

Baby Update 4:

21st sept:

Feeling very sorry for myself this evening.....

Cos for the millionth time, I’m feeling puke-ish and uncomfortable...

Only blessing is that the weather today is cooling and I’m not perspiring like crazy! So this makes me 🤢 and lazy... if it makes any sense...

Haiz... I know it’s only wk13 now.. but I really can’t wait for this sucky feeling to go away!

Feel really bad that I can’t stomach much of the yummy dinner that the hubs had cooked.. this type of dinner is what I really look forward to.. all the yums ingredients put into a soup! Hahah...

Now Im still ‘resting’ after my 1st round... haizzz

23rd sept:

Wk14 starts with me having crazy runny nose again... it’s really been no joke on how often I’ve been getting this sick ever since baby #2 starting baking...

And what makes it worse is that I can’t take any meds to quicken the recovery process... vit C seems to be hopeless as of now...

I realise I’ll get this sinus issue whenever I’m tired..... which basically is anytime I miss the afternoon nap? Hahaha.... such a joke that it isn’t funny 😑

But no la, I realise if I had a fully busy day or something then it will almost be a 80-90% thing that I’ll be down the next day or 2....

Which makes things difficult cos runny leaky nose makes speaking tough.. so how to go for appt when I’m basically ‘leaking’ from the nose and eyes!

Hmmm, unless I’m going for the Ke lian look? Hmmm....

Dear body, please zheng zuo abit! Don’t be so weak can? U don’t have to make me soooo weak just because ure growing a baby right?

I know it’s a tough job but please help me!

2nd trimester don’t earn enough, after that sure super stressful de....

Oh Dear God please help me be stronger physically and mentally! Actually at this point, despite sounding so whiny, it’s really more of a physical thing..

God help me please....Ameen....

7th oct:

The start of wk16 today... to be frank, 2nd trimester is always the best of the 3! No more or lesser nausea of the 1st... then don’t have that heaviness and body pains to endure of the 3rd.

Recently I was telling the hubs that I’m a little worried abt how baby is doing and that 4weeks between each checkup feels sooooo long.... cos somemore now can’t feel baby move yet ma...

So can’t help but to wonder how he’s doing in there.. 😅

Then hubs say I very 犯贱.... finally not so nauseous then want to complain... 🤣 it’s not like that say ok..... this is called hormonal-influenced maternal worry..

Anyway abt 2wks back we received the results of the OSCAR test... thgh doc said good news but still a little concerned..

The result is 1 out of 980+... then in her email, she mentioned that further tests can be done for any results between 1 out of 300-1000. 

After googling and settling down the initial emotions, we decided to ask her more abt it when we meet her on tues..

Yup! Finally the 4wks wait is almost over.... can’t wait for tues to see how baby is doing and hopefully also get a view of the gender!!!!! 😆 pls pls pls be a girl... hahah....

18th oct:

Wk 18.. time is flying by this time round! Just an update about our discussion with Dr Choo during our last visit.

Somehow hormones and tiredness made me break down a little after hearing her point of view regarding the results from OSCAR.. 

Because my silliness thought that the readings were just based on the blood test and not the overall information which included the visual measurements and scans of baby... :(

So anyway we decided to do a further test just so that we won’t spend the rest of the pregnancy worrying about it...

Results are not out yet...... really praying for a clear negative for Down syndrome.. oh God, please let baby girl be perfectly healthy and well formed.. ameen...

22nd oct:

In the last few days, I’m definitely feeling more movements from baby just that it’s soooo random and gentle.

I still can’t feel it with my hands when I place it on top of my tummy but internally it’s like a bubbly feel... I’ve almost forgotten how this felt..

Pretty surreal.... to know that another life is practically kicking and living inside of me..

Please be alright and safe my little one!

I’m praying for a very good reply from dr Choo regarding the Down syndrome test... 🙏🏼

Oh God please let this child be mentally and physically well formed... please...