Where did I go wrong?

My head has been in such a mess for awhile now... Cos I can't uds why my biz is soooo bad!
N while I'm all depressed abt it, the effort it takes to do the student Market is still so daunting tt it actually felt painful to even do the surveys the other day.
And then all knowing that the calling wld suck! Actually to be honest, I didnt even think abt the calling n meet up ratio n all tt part...
Cos the actual DOING of the surveys was painful enough!!! The heat! The exhaustion frm climbing the stairs!! All tt walking ard....

God! I don't know how I'll do it without the hubs!!

Yet often I know I shldnt be this dependant on him...

Right, so now back to how depressed I am now...

U know sometimes, the whole Tony Robbins thing will snap right back into my head where I'll kick myself in the ass and in my mind's eye, I'm all like 'STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF! GET WORKING ON WHAT YOU WANT CHANGED!!!'

N I get all positive n pumped up... I do what I need to do with all tt newly attained positivity...
But shit happens ya? N soon, what I did or the effort I put in, didn't get me the ideal result.... And then I fall back into the whole shitty sadness world n depression thing!

I think mentally I'm walking on such thin ice that any moment soon, I'll just crack n go cuckoo..

Carry on the 'family tradition'! Hah!!!

Now as 1.22am on an early Sunday morning or i wld rather like to think it as a super late Saturday night.... I really hope tt I'll be back to my positive, happy, lucky self when I wake up!!!

I seriously can't wait for the much needed break to Istanbul soon! 12 more days...

(Haizzz.... Even as I type tt, I rmb the number of lives I said I'll do in the coming wk before the trip! 5 lives.. Just for the record..... )
:'(

The Day You Meet Your Husband's Ex

And today was that day! I mean I do know of her existence and all la... Ohh, btw I must clarify that this is not the last ex before we got together but one of the hundreds of exes (he's shamelessly proud tt he was always a 'wanted' guy among the ladies! Note how I used the word WAS) who he's still on good terms with..

And somehow, upon seeing her in real life, it's only normal to start comparing mentally.. Right? Haha..

Like cos she was in a short skirt, I mentally went 'Ahah! She has those nice calfs that he likes!'

Then mentally went 'shit.... Why aren't mine like tt'
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Ooooo....... The whole above portion was typed out right after the meeting on the 22nd..

Funny thing was tt otw to our appts after tt meeting, I just openly told the hubs tt I was feeling insecure... Hahah, he laughed n said tt it was others who had to be jealous of me instead of the other way round... And continued tt it's bcos I got such a gd husband like him...

Anyway after our appts, he was really sweet la... Tried to do what I wanted to do/eat... Had an early dinner then went home to chill...

So just because this entry is written in 2 parts.. With me in such a better mood now as compared to tt day, I guess I can only look back at last friday n laugh at my silliness...

But it really felt otherwise on tt actual day... N once again, of course I blame the HORMONES!!!

Ok, abrupt end cos the doggy and I are just chilling right before calling it a night.. N the only thing spoiling the whole mood is this irritating itch I have in my throat tt is making me cough!! Non-stop!!!

Arghhhhh.... Shoo germs! Shoo all away.. Shoo clear before I head for my much needed break nxt wk!

I'm super well aware tt it'll be more of a trip/ adventure rather than a break! Cos it's TURKEY man! Cant wait!!!



(Post note: The actual meet up took place on 22nd aug...)

The End of Year Rush

The usual stress over the year-end deadline!!!

It comes early this year.... In august! Just because of the 10days trip to turkey in sept...

Oh noooooooooo.........

Msged the hubs earlier with this "From 热锅上的蚂蚁 now become 掉进锅里的蚂蚁"

Feeling like those dead ants in ah Cash's water bowl..... I'm depressed! :(