Where did I go wrong?

My head has been in such a mess for awhile now... Cos I can't uds why my biz is soooo bad!
N while I'm all depressed abt it, the effort it takes to do the student Market is still so daunting tt it actually felt painful to even do the surveys the other day.
And then all knowing that the calling wld suck! Actually to be honest, I didnt even think abt the calling n meet up ratio n all tt part...
Cos the actual DOING of the surveys was painful enough!!! The heat! The exhaustion frm climbing the stairs!! All tt walking ard....

God! I don't know how I'll do it without the hubs!!

Yet often I know I shldnt be this dependant on him...

Right, so now back to how depressed I am now...

U know sometimes, the whole Tony Robbins thing will snap right back into my head where I'll kick myself in the ass and in my mind's eye, I'm all like 'STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF! GET WORKING ON WHAT YOU WANT CHANGED!!!'

N I get all positive n pumped up... I do what I need to do with all tt newly attained positivity...
But shit happens ya? N soon, what I did or the effort I put in, didn't get me the ideal result.... And then I fall back into the whole shitty sadness world n depression thing!

I think mentally I'm walking on such thin ice that any moment soon, I'll just crack n go cuckoo..

Carry on the 'family tradition'! Hah!!!

Now as 1.22am on an early Sunday morning or i wld rather like to think it as a super late Saturday night.... I really hope tt I'll be back to my positive, happy, lucky self when I wake up!!!

I seriously can't wait for the much needed break to Istanbul soon! 12 more days...

(Haizzz.... Even as I type tt, I rmb the number of lives I said I'll do in the coming wk before the trip! 5 lives.. Just for the record..... )
:'(