Ranting about a Toxic Person

Sometimes if don’t rant, I think will go crazy.

So instead of airing it on my main social media page, I think this will be as ‘private’ as it can get..

Because this lazy ass has lost the habit of keeping a physical diary.. and though this is still very much on the World Wide Web for all to see, I don’t think anyone really reads this! 🤣

So rant away I must!!!

• has a million cups already lying around, still needs to store water in the main kettle that we use to boil water (and not that the kettle actually keeps it warm OR that she reboils the water after a few hours)
• Cooks for ONE but can spend hoursssssss in the kitchen... and then have enough quantity to keep for daysss! (This should qualify as 2 points.. but let’s keep it as one for kindness sake)
• Makes a huge mess with stains on the table tops every time she cooks curry! And it FUCKING STAINS the table! There is no fucking way to remove the stain without destroying the colour of the table top even more!
• Leaves the kitchen floor oily and yet doesn’t even think it is..
• Occupies the fridge with a million small containers and what nots but complains about the few items that I actually have in the fridge (and it’s just HER & a dog who honestly doesn’t appreciate the over-dunno-how-many-nights old food!)

This is just for the kitchen! I haven even started on other matters in the house....

Yes, I give her the benefit of old age that she can’t see well already so can’t keep the kitchen clean or wipe away the coffee stains that she leaves on the KETTLE or table tops etc.. or that her feet calluses are so thick that she can’t feel the oiliness of the floor..

But she will fucking ARGUE that what you said is not true when you point it out to her!!!!

Doesn’t matter the tone of voice I use when I point it out!

I can say it nicely and still she will actually get offended by it!

Recently I was watching a drama and it mentioned how a parent will be willingly to do everything in his means for his child. 

But it is difficult for the child to give his best for his parent. 

[Though it was said in a medical context about how a parent will be willing to spend however much it takes to save a child’s life, but if the situation flips, the child may decide that xxx amount may be too much for him to manage and so his parent may not actually get that standard of medical care needed.

And we do see it.. like how parents are willing to pay more for the medical plan of a child but children as the payor usually downgrade the plan for their parents till the lowest when it gets tight]

So while she may have been tolerant to whatever nonsense I gave her as a child back then (which I don’t think I did cos I’m such a great kid 😇), I think I have hit beyond my max to her nonsense.

Haizz u know what, I have suddenly lost all interest to carry on typing on this for now.

All I can promise myself is that in this last trimester of this pregnancy, I MUST NOT LOSE MY COOL.

I must not bother to have a shouting match with her!

It is totally not worth the risk and I already know better what the final outcome will be.

So NO. MUST NOT AND WILL NOT LOSE MY COOL!!!!

Visit to the endocrinologist

thoughts at 5am:

Going to see the endocrinologist later at 10am.. don’t know why I’m feeling apprehensive about it.

It’s been a good few weeks of keeping the sugar levels under control with the insulin jabs.. even though some days are bad due to lousy food choices.

But the last few days were bad!

Lousy food choices + the dose of 8units sometimes didn’t cut it down like how it did previously.

Anyway I’m just not in a good mental space right now. So decided to skip the 5am jab and wait till morning to see how.

Jab at 5am, wake up also still around same level... then jab for what... haizz.. dun understand why it’s like that

Jabs are also feeling more painful and I hate it. I’m dread every single jab time.....

Post-endocrinologist visit Thoughts:

It’s 1 day after the specialist visit..

To be honest, the consultation went better than expected.

He was comforting and actually managed to put me at ease. Or rather feel encouraged about this whole GD situation.

But now 1 day after doing the 1st jab last night, I’m jaded..

The whole day’s readings have been bad.. meaning the past 24hrs reading.

What would have usually given a not so bad post meal reading has been off the charts!

Getting all 9s and even 10s!

Ya la, food choice wasn’t the perfect today but also not so bad to get it so high.

Haizzz all these lousy readings plus a crazy sinus nose is getting me very very upset and demoralised.

Ohh all that PLUS a Super suuuuuper painful back! So painful that I can barely stand and every step hurts!

Dear God, please let me wake up to a better day!

Take away all my pain and worries! Let my sugar levels be more controlled from now on...

Please please please......

Stupid F-ing mistake! 🤬🤬😡🤬😡🤦🏼‍♀️

U know how ppl on a diet will say some food are wasted carbs/fat?

I made that stupid mistake tonight! Really feel like 🤦🏼‍♀️ when i googled

Ate a whole bowl of edamame thinking that it was a keto friendly veg... meaning sugar level shouldn’t spike up right?

Wrong!!! Stupid fucking wrong!!

Yuan lai edamame is NOT keto friendly.... meaning while it is ok in small amounts, that whole bowl pushing my sugar reading to 8.2!!!!

8 POINT FREAKING 2!!! U know what a more satisfying meal I could have eaten and got the same reading!

Yet I had a half f dinner which was nowhere near satisfying yet get a reading so f-ing high!

Arghhhhh soooo frustrated and angry with my stupidity!

Now I definitely know better!

Fuck your edamame!!!! You imposter of a healthy looking vegetable!!!! 🤬😡🤬🤬🤬

Baby Update (yes finally! 🤦🏼‍♀️😅)

Hello baby!!

U’re 27wks+ old currently...... maybe I should say 27wks young instead ☺️🤣

It’s really amazing how quickly the days are passing and yet day by day, I can feel you wriggle & turn and grow a little more than yesterday!

Mummy is ashamed that I have been unable to keep up with writing about the monthly developments for you!

Amidst the madness of catching up with the year end shortfalls (alrdy a downgrade of clubs from previous years 😫), prep of Xmas cards (which I’ve barely done) and taking care of both your elder siblings (which is a real test to my patience & sanity at times!), I have neglected setting aside some time to blog down much of this pregnancy...

And look how time just flew by!

If things progress similar to your 2 elder siblings, we’ll be receiving you in our lives in about 10-11weeks time!

Omgoodness........ we don’t even have a name for you yet!!! Hahaha.... but don’t worry, this part is the same as what it was with your brother!

But do know that every day, I am so grateful for your movements which let me know that ure doing well!

Do know how much I already love you for not torturing me physically by pushing outwards like what your naughty sister did!

Each day I think about how cute u’re growing into and those beautiful eyes that you’ll have!

Pls be growing a nice head of hair too ok!

Mummy will try to keep watch of my sugar levels and diet too so that you don’t become a sumo at birth!

But u this fellow really like your meat huh.... realise that you don’t really like fish.

Anyway u continue to guai guai grow nicely and well ok..

Daddy has yet to feel your movements but I know he still loves you too!

You may be our third child (probably our last too), but that doesn’t mean the love for you is any lesser!

Till the day we meet face to face, I love you my baby boy! 💕

We love you! Kor kor and jie jie too! 😘😘😘😘