So so soooooo stressed!

Been more stressed up of late due to poor sales especially RP biz and low funds in bank account.

Doesn’t help that hubs is putting in sooooooooooo little time into work. If he even does something work related, it’s more policy servicing rather than for new sales 🤦🏼‍♀️

The 2 GPP that he closed late March was his teenie mini saving grace. But hello!! 2022 is almost 4 months done!

Worse still, he doesn’t seem to feel the heat. Then again I’m sure he feels awful but somehow he’s soooooo stuck emotionally and mentally that I feel that it’s preventing him from taking action to improve the situation.

And honestly this is making me soooooo damn frustrated.

When I had extra funds, it didn’t feel so painful and urgent— at least I could tank the payments etc.

But then he had lack right, so borrowed and borrowed (and didn’t even return!) till the point that now, I’m almost negative myself!

I think because of how things were when I was young, I now get very anxious and extremely emotionally affected when I don’t have enough—

Like now even having a balance of $500 doesn’t make me feel secure because easily any payment due, already $1000+++ or 1 kid suddenly sick, easily few hundreds…

While I’m very very grateful that he manages quite a lot on the housework side of things and cooking for the family etc, I think at this point of time, I would really really rather having his help in bringing home more income for the family.

Because right now, he’s really being a very expensive ‘helper’! Like a 3k per month helper!

Easily if he puts in time & effort, he can close more sales and help out with more bills..

I nag/sarcastic/encourage/talk positive/stress him out ALL ALSO NO USE!

Honestly, I’m really really fucking frustrated at how he’s like given up on himself with regards to work.

That day said him a little more, he turned all emo on me… say himself no use la, shld go die la 😒🙄

I really dunno how to help you already. Your ego is too big, your emotions are too deep, your thoughts are too private and you keep me at such arms length that my encouragement can’t reach you anymore.

Sigh… rant over..

No more energy already.

I just pray for dear God to see my plight and help my husband to get back on his feet. Help my finances to look healthier and my bank account to be fuller…

Praying for a windfall!! 🙏🏼

Ameen