Emo Nights

Haiz... random thoughts going through my messy hormonal mind the past few hours...

And once again,  I blame—- HORMONES!

(Gonna be totm soon... so ya... haizz)

Feeling damn emo also cos the usual end of FY stress la... actually this year is pretty much the best if I’m gonna compare to recent years..

Just because a few cases didn’t go according to plan, I’m currently still short of about $100+... yes not 1000+ but 100+... 🤦🏼‍♀️

Ok la, of cos I’m MORE than happy that it’s only 2 zero! But it’s so lame cos by right whatever that came in should have cleared the 40k swee swee... bleh

So yes, this is one irritating thing on my mind now..

Then hormonal mind decided to self-pity when I saw shaf going out just now.. dressed nicely, heels, perfume and all... 

Once upon a time, I was that.... hahah, ok la.. who am I kidding! More like trying to look good..

Actually come to think back, I really didn’t like going out once I’ve reached home..

Cos stay in wlds right, so far from everywhere else!

Back then going out at 9+ usually meant going for drinks.. so won’t drive. But cab fare there n back would easily cost $50.. wasted no grab/uber then..

Maybe I would have had more of a night life.

Anyway so ya, got quite emo cos Friday Saturday nights no longer = out having fun.... we don’t really have a social life these days...

Mostly I’m fine... tell you already, bloody hormones!!! Arghhh....

Logical me wants to whack the emo messed up me!  👊🏼

Then as I was making Don sleep a short while ago, suddenly recalled the day we brought him back from the hospital..

Can you believe it— we didn’t even pack a proper hospital bag! Yes, he came suddenly and 2 weeks early... but man, we were so unprepared!

We didn’t even prepare clothes and the blanket to bring this baby home! Quite embarrassed to even type this out! Haha..

We used some gifted clothes and bought some swaddle blanket from the mothercare at the hospital.. so unwashed and all, we brought our dear boy back in our version of style!

I suddenly thought abt this because many times, hubs and I find ourselves challenged or caught in tough times, but somehow, with God’s grace of cos, we manage to pull through..........

Somehow we manage to make things work out.... somehow we manage to find the extra cash...... somehow we manage to get something done.....

Somehow we manage................

Tough and emotional as hell, but God always helps us through... at least so far, He has been loving us enough to make things work! Haha Alhamdulilah!!!!

But I guess that’s marriage isn’t it? 2 people supporting each other.... God’s grace..

Hubs been such a strong pillar all these while too.... I break down so openly (and often) yet till now, I’ve only seen him break down a very few times...

So guilty for all the mental stress he must be going/have gone through.... some days I wish I can hear what’s going on in his mind... esp on the days when he gets real quiet.... 

Aiyah, here I go again... rambling on...

Ok la, think I should just go to sleep now... nothing solves emo nights than sleep.. sleep le then don’t need to think/feel...

But hubs is not back from appt yet..... haizz... sleep and wait? 🤔

Busy Satisfying Sunday

Busy busy Sunday! In out in out..

Dear boy woke up at 7am but ‘‘twas too early so I gave let him whine abit and luckily he went back to sleep..

Woke up for good around 8am.. actually can’t rmb whether he woke up at 7 or 8am today... that is how long today has been! 🤣😂

So anyway decided to go out to buy breakfast and vege + fish instead of ordering it in.. at the same time also to give the hubs some extra snooze time...(but later found out he didn’t go back to sleep.. instead he very sweetly swept the floor, washed the bottles, cooked Don’s food and even had time to do some work related stuff.... was I away that long? Haha)

Oh and I brought the boy along too! So that was quite an experience.. he was very obedient for most of our adventure. :)

Think it’s his first time squeezing in the market.. at least he was willing to walk at most parts. So maybe I’ll try to make this a weekly thing.. expose him to more stuff... we’ll see... cos it’s actually really satisfying to buy the food needed from the wet market.. somehow feels fresher and a little cheaper than ntuc.. mainly fresher la!

Oh no.... Issit I upgraded to Aunty level le? 😨

Then came home ate, vacuumed the super dusty room (which I have been wanting to do for such a long time but half a day here n there with appts is tough.... so since today no appt, better fastly do! 😬)

But mil came by ard 12+pm! I initially thought mil and fil will come at night..... so vacuumed up 1 portion then decided to stop for lunch...

Now doing a dinner run... buying dinner for the hubs and some bread for Don’s tea time tmr...

But like I said, feels good being able to provide for the family... like it’s my first time buying fish from the wet market! 

And I feel it really helps cos the hubs chipped in as well.. like when I left to buy dinner, he was bathing the dog...

I’m super grateful cos he’s sick yet he was willing to help out...... 

Times like this, I’m super grateful and super proud to call him MY man! Of cos he has his lazy irritating moments, but this is the part of my guy that i fell for!

Love you BB!!! 💖

May we carry on to work together in such a fine manner, complementing each other so well! Helping and loving each other till we grow old and die......

I really hope and pray that we can... 🙏🏻

Ok, DINNER TIME!!!

Public Transport Adventure

So freaking proud of myself! Took public transport home from great world city!

And in My terms, that’s pretty amazing alrdy! Hahah.. cos there’s no straight train etc...

Mainly also cos cldnt get hitch which wld have cost $9.10 after the promo disct! Haha..

But I bought sushi for $9.90 cos craving and ice cream at $0.80.... hahahah... guess I didn’t really save huh.. 🤣😂

Jia You To Me

Jia you woman!!! You can do it!

You CAN COMPLETE FY2017 with AWESOME RESULTS!!!

Just gotta overcome the tiredness and chiong all the way!!! Short term pain long term glory! 👍🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼

最近比较烦

最近比较烦, 比较烦, 比较烦。。。。 🎶

But seriously really many things on mind of late.......

1) work --- definitely NEED to clear mdc shortfall this mth.. Nov just started but by the end of the coming week it will alrdy be 12th le!! Hate this kind of mth cos it passes quicker..

Then there's still 8apps-- in terms of the 100apps shortfall.. Wah this one also really headache...

Actually if all focus is here, then not so headache... but for now, aiyoooooo

Then of cos Berlin target.. but for now i just want to clear Mdc gold first...

2) Don's sch-- technically we've chosen and sort of finalised on THE one.... but something inside just keeps bugging me on whether I've done my best in terms of finding the one most auitable for him or just settling for something..

I seriously still hope e-bridge calls us back before this weds! Cos price wise, tts still way more within my comfort zone!

3) Car-- the engine light has been on for a super long time... today it finally went off when we went to look for new cars! 😂 

In short, found out that we had to pay about $50k.. the new one is actually not tt bad and really ideal in terms of space.

But I just need to come to terms that it's not meant to be.... for now........

4) wanted to write house.... but even thgh this topic has always been on my mind, now writing this list out, I think it didn't really hold much weight...

Maybe this other one is more ......... haiz

2nd child 

Ya, of recent days, this topic almost number 1 on the list!

Esp after what mil said ytd....

Summarised:

Mil commented that we shld have number 2 le... then I said coming year.. but then realised that if we're successful in April/may, baby 2 will not be in time for 2018. And we're running a tight schedule here cos dear hubs want to close shop before 35. (Somehow don't uds how some parents can just have number 2 , 3 , 4........... not scared meh... yes, it's from God and God's blessings... but the actual responsibility of bringing them up to be decent human beings....)

Plus of cos financially, I feel soooo sooooooo tight and unstable la.... we really quite screwed up in this area.. just can't seem to have spare. 

Ok anyway so coming back, I said timing next year difficult cos got the Berlin trip in july. Then mil very simply said "不要去啦!"

I guess convention is not something everyone can understand or appreciate. But to say qualify and not go is such a big big..... sacrifice is not exactly the word I'm going for.. but not easy la.

Maybe cos I haven qualify for enough conventions to be so selfless...

Or maybe I'm not 'motherly' enough to do such a selfless thing...

Haizzzz.... some days I want more kids, some days I think even 1 is challenging enough. Because I do want to give the best of myself to him. But even with just Don, I feel that I haven been able to do that..

Oh God, please please guide me well and guide me close.... Please give me wisdom to make the right choices and patience to achieve things that needs to wait.

Oh dear God, please shower my family with more wealth. We need more space for us... as much as I'm trying to clear stuff, 3 in one room is tight.. I don't want to imagine 4... dear God, please give us wealth to be able to make changes to our current situation.....

Lastly, please bless us with strength to get through what we need to do to achieve our dreams and bring up good responsible children.

Ameen......