最近比较烦

最近比较烦, 比较烦, 比较烦。。。。 🎶

But seriously really many things on mind of late.......

1) work --- definitely NEED to clear mdc shortfall this mth.. Nov just started but by the end of the coming week it will alrdy be 12th le!! Hate this kind of mth cos it passes quicker..

Then there's still 8apps-- in terms of the 100apps shortfall.. Wah this one also really headache...

Actually if all focus is here, then not so headache... but for now, aiyoooooo

Then of cos Berlin target.. but for now i just want to clear Mdc gold first...

2) Don's sch-- technically we've chosen and sort of finalised on THE one.... but something inside just keeps bugging me on whether I've done my best in terms of finding the one most auitable for him or just settling for something..

I seriously still hope e-bridge calls us back before this weds! Cos price wise, tts still way more within my comfort zone!

3) Car-- the engine light has been on for a super long time... today it finally went off when we went to look for new cars! 😂 

In short, found out that we had to pay about $50k.. the new one is actually not tt bad and really ideal in terms of space.

But I just need to come to terms that it's not meant to be.... for now........

4) wanted to write house.... but even thgh this topic has always been on my mind, now writing this list out, I think it didn't really hold much weight...

Maybe this other one is more ......... haiz

2nd child 

Ya, of recent days, this topic almost number 1 on the list!

Esp after what mil said ytd....

Summarised:

Mil commented that we shld have number 2 le... then I said coming year.. but then realised that if we're successful in April/may, baby 2 will not be in time for 2018. And we're running a tight schedule here cos dear hubs want to close shop before 35. (Somehow don't uds how some parents can just have number 2 , 3 , 4........... not scared meh... yes, it's from God and God's blessings... but the actual responsibility of bringing them up to be decent human beings....)

Plus of cos financially, I feel soooo sooooooo tight and unstable la.... we really quite screwed up in this area.. just can't seem to have spare. 

Ok anyway so coming back, I said timing next year difficult cos got the Berlin trip in july. Then mil very simply said "不要去啦!"

I guess convention is not something everyone can understand or appreciate. But to say qualify and not go is such a big big..... sacrifice is not exactly the word I'm going for.. but not easy la.

Maybe cos I haven qualify for enough conventions to be so selfless...

Or maybe I'm not 'motherly' enough to do such a selfless thing...

Haizzzz.... some days I want more kids, some days I think even 1 is challenging enough. Because I do want to give the best of myself to him. But even with just Don, I feel that I haven been able to do that..

Oh God, please please guide me well and guide me close.... Please give me wisdom to make the right choices and patience to achieve things that needs to wait.

Oh dear God, please shower my family with more wealth. We need more space for us... as much as I'm trying to clear stuff, 3 in one room is tight.. I don't want to imagine 4... dear God, please give us wealth to be able to make changes to our current situation.....

Lastly, please bless us with strength to get through what we need to do to achieve our dreams and bring up good responsible children.

Ameen......