It’s a known fact that everyone handles stress/anxiety/ differently.
And I for one am very aware of it.
Take my mama for example. So over the weekend, I had a false alarm PE (pre eclampsia) scare cos of very high blood pressure readings the whole of Saturday.
On Sunday, there was a lion dance thingy going on at Uncle william’s place which we were invited to.
But that morning, wp n myself decided to go kkh for a checkup just to be on the safe side.
When I told her to watch over Don and what to do/ expect the next few hours while we’re away, her 1st question was “then later will you be going for the lion dance?”
Not “are u ok?” or “what happened? How are u feeling? Why the pressure will suddenly go up?”—
But somehow I’ve come to accept that this is just HER.
Maybe she can’t verbalise how she feels.
Even after they came home from the party, she still can update me how happy Don was seeing the lion dance and all.... not even a “so what did the doc say? How u feeling now?”
Closest to that was “Everybody very concerned for you. Asked how you doing”
🤔 and you my dear mother, are YOU concerned?
Maybe this is the cursed retribution she was so surely and hatefully spitting out the past few times she went nuts! 🤔
So if you KNOW what u wished for, you wouldn’t be too surprised or concerned right? 😂
Oh well...... all in good faith. Whatever~
Another person that is affecting more over this weekend incident however is the dear hubs... it IS yet another known fact that he is not a touchy feel-ly person.. (at least other than during sex 😆)
But I did really have quite a bad scare over this issue. Ok la, not only the potential of PE. But just the frustration of having one issue after another and all in a mater of days...
- The uncontrolled sugar levels
- lack of satisfaction from food
- the hassle of advance planning of meal times and food choices
- Insulin jab timings and how and where to do it
- the disappointment and worry when pre or post meals readings are high
- that 1 day of brown discharge for no reason (heng nothing serious from that!)
- Then this weekend high BP readings
It’s like so near to the end le... want to quickly chiong for work stuff also can’t cos now bp is in play.
A little more kan chiong-ness or pressure will lead to any serious after effects? Haizzz... worth the risk?
Like how on sat I actually wanted to go do some major work in office... but when I suddenly saw that 147/102 reading, it was scary enough for me to decide to take a rest at home instead or risking a drive into office.
Haizz the frustrations of it all........ sooo overwhelming.....
That maybe all I want from my life partner is a good big tight bear hug..
Sadly his way of showing concern is through actions not in the way I crave— he will buy things like coffee because I need it or cook for me or prep Don’s meals/water stuff etc
I mean all those I DO appreciate. If only he can hug me or comfort me more. It’s soooo rare for him to just hold my hand randomly or give me a hug (non-sexual). N I need those.....
He touched his ipad more the last few days than me. 🙄
But I know he is worried.. just a different way of showing it. Sigh...
Yet another being who is not able to express verbally. Oh, he will try to keep matters light by making jokes.... it does help.
But if only he throws in a squeeze of my hand or shoulders or a hug once awhile. Or walk next to me... or just hold my arm in support when we’re out especially these days when it’s so tiring and I’m so unbalanced....
I think that’s all my soul wants now..... so physical love expression from the hubs...
Cos I know I can depend on him. But there’s just that one part of me that is so left unattended by him :(
Stress, worry— we all handle it differently I guess.....
