I wanted to start off this entry with the intention of portraying how angry i am at myself for my indecisivness. But halfway through, i started feeling all lousy and deleted the whole thing instead.

Baseline is i really truely dislike/hate/despise/detest/loathe (+ all the other hundreds of synonyms for the word 'hate') my indecisive nature!

I tried many ways to change that. I took over alot of decision making stuff in my family blah blah blah ..to a certain extent, it has helped. But the bulk of tt characteristic or whatever damn thing u call it still stays!

Esp when it comes to big decisions like the one im facing now.

Scenario:

Has part-time job working at a tuition centre. Enjoys time spent there. Likes working with the kids even though after each session, comes home and vomit a bucket-full of blood.
Spend the remainder of time each week reading and doing other stuff. Likes the relaxed pace of life.
Plans to do this till sch term start in Feb 06.

ONE DAY....

Suddenly spots a job that seems interesting. Job pays well. Everything looks fine. But catch is it's a 1yr contract and has 24hr on-call duties twice a month. Taking job will spoil all plans made beforehand. How? Wait for other job opportunities (which may not be as good in the end?) or take this one? How hOW HOW!!!??!??!?!

Can someone please give me advice on this? Accepts advice in any form. Call, email, write a letter (best not to be in this form la..cos i need to give my final decision veryyy soon :P)...anything.....


haizz..dunno la..just feeling very veryy veryyy lousy these days. Actually, things havent been looking good since my business didnt manage to take off.. :'(
n no, im not depressed because of that. I've moved on..but it just seems that since then, more stuff keeps coming in and make things confusing for me.
Im feeling like one lost confused little girl right now!
I Soooo feel like crying la..........

-pause-


And to make things worse, i came across some photos earlier which brought back some memories. Happy memories. This one managed to keep me happy and smiling like an idiot for about 1 month after the pix was taken.




Remember that jo? (not tt clear but i think u will know)

Can u believe it's coming to 2 years since that day?

Lots of memories.

I never regretted taking part in the National Day Parade '03 as an usher.
If one were to minus off the cold KFC/Pizza Hut meals every saturday during rehearsals, the experience was actually quite a nice one!

Counting the fact that i never had the chance to experience the parade LIVE before, everything during the weekly rehearsals was interesting. The actual day of the parade was the best though. Despite being sunburnt to a terrible state even BEFORE the parade started. Think i suffered first-degree burns tt day ah!!

But experiencing the deafening fly-pass of the planes, the macho march-pass of the soldiers, the magical fireworks (love tt the besT!!!) and of cos the abundance of good looking army guys to look at made the burns worth it man! :P

-sighs-

i want to re-live that day again. i dun mind the burn. i dun mind the endless waiting. i dun mind the lousy KFC chicken we had tt day. i dun mind anything.
i just wanna be happy and smile right from within again!!!
i just wanna see Alden again?