Hari Raya Blues

On festive days like the one that just past (hari raya), it kinda sucks being a child from mixed parentage.

Being half chinese n half indian, whose religion is islam, one cant sometimes help but feel that one doesnt belong to any ethic group.

I mean yea, on the IC im an indian.. But i know nuts about tt language or culture. To be really honest, i dun even feel indian. Besides the longer eyelashes and being follicle-ly blessed, i dun even have much to say about tt side of me!

THen the chinese part.. yes, when cny gets about, i get sucked in by the hype n traditions..the cleaning n stuff... But when it really gets to the actual day..bleh~
Only need to visit granny n auntie.. Then im done!

I kinda wish for the large family get-together.. The auntie of the auntie of that uncle.. U know the whole family heritage mess.. I dun even have that to complain about?!?!?!! Or maybe at least not one tt i know of.

Then as for hari raya, once again mainly celebrated by malays.. It's just a minor affair for me.. We used to invite people over on the actual day.. Busy with guests and all.. But even that lost it's appeal after awhile. We no longer invite cos who do u actually invite on tt day? My chinese friends?

And once again, there's that missing auntie of that auntie of that uncle...! The whole big family thing again. All my festive celebrations are all soooo small-scaled. Half-fucked..

Money packets are also halfed..Enjoyment halfed..True meaning.........???

haizz..maybe because stuff at work sucks. Maybe im just super bored.. Maybe it's the weather..But this time round, hari raya doesnt feel as festive as it's meant to be.. Im in depression.. =(